January 27th, 2010
Around Christmastime, my husband and I attended a late-afternoon wedding at a small church in Cleveland followed by a dinner and dancing reception at a hunt club. With no hint from the bride or groom as to what to wear, I assumed the affair was semi-formal and wore a cocktail dress with heels. My husband wore a dark suit with a tie. For the most part, we looked like every other guest in attendance, with the exception of a young woman at my table who was wearing khakis, a cotton sweater and a cozy scarf (which she kept around her neck the entire evening). I couldn’t help but wonder if she felt out of place in her casual ensemble? Did she really think that was appropriate wedding attire?
A similar situation occurred just months before in Omaha. With no dress code indicated, I wore an above-the-knee party dress with heels (my husband was in the wedding party and had to wear a tuxedo) to a Saturday evening wedding. I stood aghast at the sight of guests sporting khaki pants and polo shirts! This was the bride’s and groom’s big day, and several of their friends were dressed for a casual Friday in the office.
This is why I’m an advocate of including a line about dress codes on your invitation. As a bride or groom, you may have a vision of what you want your wedding day to look like, complete with how your guests should dress. Why not give them guidelines so they don’t have to guess what you’d like them to wear–or so that some of them don’t stick out like sore thumbs.
Possible dress codes include:
Black Tie: A gown for her, a tuxedo for him
Black Tie Optional or Formal: A long dress, fancy suit or cocktail dress for her, a tuxedo or dark suit for him
Semi-Formal or Cocktail Attire: A cocktail dress or dressy top and skirt for her, a suit (dark or light depending on the season/time of day) for him
Dressy casual: A sundress or top and skirt for her, a pair of dress pants and a button-down shirt for him
As a guest, if you’re still in doubt as to what to wear, either ask the bride or groom what they would prefer or go a bit dressier. Like my mother always says, it’s better to be over-dressed than under-dressed!
(image source)
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